Adoption, Humor

5 Snarky Come-Backs for Adopted Kids

Let’s be real.  Kids can be cruel.  Any child that can talk can highlight your greatest insecurity and stab you in the areas where you are most vulnerable.  Kids can be JerksWhen I was in the 2nd grade my mom thought it was a good idea for me to get a Jerry Curl.  I thought I looked super cool because my dad had one too.  The kids at school did not agree.  By the end of the day my classmates had changed my name from Charece to “Cha-grease”.

We’ve all been picked-on and it ends in a couple ways.  You either end up depressed, a millionaire-genius who employees all of the comedic losers who laughed at you, or a slightly sarcastic mom with jokes, like myself.

Adopted kids are no exception from school yard teasing.  In fact, their adoption status can make them more of a target.  And listen, that “born in my mom’s heart” stuff is not a good thing to bring up when a full on “capping” session has begun.

I teach my children to express the Fruits of the Spirit and turn the other cheek.  But some kids, and parents, are just JERKS!  As my kids are aging I’ve begun to arm them with an arsenal of quick come-backs to keep the jerks at bay.  Let me help you arm your adopted kiddos.

giphy-downsized (8)Here’s the scenario.  Your kid is playing on the playground and the little jerk comes over and says something like “Ha, Ha!  That’s why your adopted.”  or “At least I’m not adopted.”.

It’s Show Time!  Here’s a List of things your sweet angel can say.


1. After your Mama saw your face, she WISHED she had adopted me instead.

2. All Super Heroes are adopted.  Maybe I can help you rescue (fill in the blank).

My kids like to use the words “those edges” here, but feel free to fill in this space to best fit your geographical location and school-yard demographic.

3.  Maybe somebody should adopt YOU.  Your hair-style looks neglected.

4.  My mom CHOSE me, your Mama HAD to bring you home.

5.  You need to adopt a toothbrush.  Your breath smells ABANDONED.

5 Snarky Come Backs for Adopted Kids

We are not doing our kids any favors by not preparing them for the challenges they face.  Give them a come-back and let them cry on your shoulder when they get home.  Share your stories of how kids mocked you and how you lived through it.  This may seem like an odd parenting technique, but it works around here.

Happy Parenting.